Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Insomnia Sucks and Other Laments

I've been awake sense 6:30am on my day off. Why am I up so early? I don't think I have slept more than four hours a night in the last few days. Most research on insomnia suggests that it is stress related. I work 50 to 55 hours a week, and while my job has an amount of physical toll to it, I don't think of my job as being that stressful. I can stand the heat in the kitchen, my employees are decent hard workers, I don't really deal with the customers and when I do its with a sense of bemusement.

I guess I have been thinking alot about the past and the future. Roads not take, dreams unfulfilled and what-not. And while my current job is a good job, I don't know if I will be happy doing it for the next 20 to 30 years. There are alot of other things I think I would like to do, the real question is how to get them done?

There is also the issue of my being alone. I'm alone ALOT!!! I'm lonely when I go out. I'm lonely in crowds. I'm lonely whenever. I got great friends. I really do! People I love with my whole heart. People I would fight, kill and die for. But they are all so far away. Its hard to fight loneliness when I go weeks and months without your friends. And lil female companionship wouldn't hurt either.

Maybe I should just shut up and go enjoy the cool morning and the warm sunshine!

"Cause all this hangin' around is draggin' me down,
I gotta get behind the wheel and get the hell out of town
Too many people, too many cars, Too many nights in too many bars
My noggin's getting soggy and my spirits are saggin'
Time to take a ride in my blue water wagon" - Blue Mountain



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