Friday, November 30, 2007

Of Love and Death

I know! It seems a strange topic to write about.
These are the two concepts that my mind is currently orbiting. They are pretty easily explained, really.
I will start with Death because it is the easier to explain.
David Reid is Dying.
The Father of two of my best friends is the the final stage of life.
When confronted with death I don't think anybody can not think about death. The basic question of "Why?" and "Why good people, and not bad ones?" are asked. Personally, I think these questions are a waste of time. Death will meet us all one day. It's a "when" not an "if". Still it is the emotional impact of the loss that has the most effect. Logic and reason lose out in the end, and rightly so. But still thoughts linger on. There are ALOT of cliché about dying and death. But as I have thought them over and though during the last week or so. I realize many of them are true.
David Reid is a great example of them. The most important I feel is that it is about the connections you make in life. To quote the Beatles, "The love you take is equal to the love you make." Is that the Beatles? Yeah, it is. Well, if you are going to steal, steal from the best. Back to my point, I can't think of a more loving family than the Reids. Everyone loves them. They took in all of their childrens friends at some point and have given us food and a place to sleep, on more than one occasion. I can't even imagaine what David and Tricia friends would have to say. This lead me back to another cliche, "Bad things, really do happen to good people." Doesn't that just suck. One more little point about death and I will move on to the other topic, and this one, I guess can be viewed as a positive. We waste a shit load of time in life on stuff that isn't really that important. Death comes along from time to time to remind us to get to living, because as I stated before we all got punch out of this mortal coil sooner or later.
Strangely that is a pretty good lead in to the second topic today, love.
To understand my view on love you have to know a little of my history.
My parnets are my model for love. As I have seen is this model, Love is work, compromise, patience, and understanding. But words will always fail to express the true depth of love. My parents are two whole and individual people. In alot of way they are very much the opposite of each other. But together.....they are strong....fused together they are greater than the sum of the two individuals parts. Again, words fail. Because some things are just indescribable. They have to be felt and lived.
I have been in love before, few time really. I think love changes as you change. As you get older, or more experienced, the depth of what you feel changes too. When I was younger, I had my heart broken, beaten, buised, and shattered. What can I say, I was young, that is what happenes when you are young.
But of late, I find myself wonder about love, again. See there is a girl. Can I still call women, girls? Question for another day, I guess. She started as a friend, but now half statements that other people make or allude to just have me wondering. To be honest, I know love is the wrong word to put to this at this time. I know I desire her, but I can see myself with her. In the long term. I can see myself sacrificing to be with her. Is that love? Should I risk what could be a life long friendship for a chance at love? I just don't know, and thus the nail that I hang my thoughts of love on. But these question lead my back to Deaths little reminder.
I'm wasting time.


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